and this will lose me some followers.
I used to date a girl who worked in the sex industry. Well I dated a few. Funny how that works out. I would sit around and wait til she got off work and eat chow mein every night in the place.
California style chow mein. Not this stuff they call it around here, I think the closest they have in New York is Lo Mein but that isn’t even close.
But I knew these cats who worked at this Chinese joint and I would get kicked down all the leftovers at the end of the night. So I would have my Styrofoam box and I would go up and watch her.
One night she comes up and says she is pregnant. Well ok.
This is when I was younger. I don’t pull this shit anymore. Believe it or not, I changed a lot in the last 10 years when I got out of all that.
So she pulls the pregnancy test at the place. Yes. It wasn’t the first time.
Total porn story strip club deal. Once again. Long time ago.
so we got all the dudes walking around and she comes walking out smiling. Now I don’t know what this means. I am eating my noodles thinking well if I have a Lil Todd running around, it wouldn’t be that bad. I was already thinking I was getting too beat up for this anymore.
Maybe a kid wouldn’t be too bad,
I spent most of my time in diners by then. Late night. Talking with cops, crazies and prostitutes so my old gig was on the way out so maybe having a kid would be cool. Get us both on a different track,
After all, living your life like that was pretty bad. Well I got to eat a lot of chow mein but other then that, I wasn’t too into it.
So she comes out. Not pregnant.
I will say I was a little disappointed.
But I got instead dogs instead.
At least dogs don’t ask you for money so I guess that is cool.
But pregnancy tests in sex shops is always my favorite memory of her,
Yes I know my wife reads this but that is one cool thing about Michele. It is called full disclosure.
I figure if you tell someone everything about your life and they still agree to marry you, they got to be good.
You know they used to throw away the unsold dildos?
Damn right I grabbed them and put them all over my house.
Nailed the dongs to the wall.